Found a coke can sitting in the dirt next to the dumpster that said to share with your soulmate.
me: stop being racist please
family: listen… liberal hippie trash ….u dont know anything abotu the world….
I had a dream that my parents were getting divorced, and I was at my mom’s new place but she was at work or something, and Tom and Jim Hanks were trying to use the house to store stuff for some video they decided to shoot on our front porch. And Tom Hanks was mayor so I couldn’t tell him he wasn’t allowed to shoot the video on our porch and he was really mean and when I asked Jim how he dealt with it he mumbled about how “Tom gets me out the house, you know, makes me talk to people.”